Young's Double Chocolate Stout.

GUYS.
YOU GUYS.

THIS BEER TASTES EXACTLY LIKE A BAR OF 80% COCOA CHOCOLATE.

I LIKE IT.

END REVIEW.

Seriously, though. I saved this for the last of my Christmas gift beer reviews because I figured it would, at least, be the most interesting of the bunch. I was not wrong! Young's Double Chocolate Stout, unlike our last encounter with a "chocolate" "stout", really delivers on its description. "Silky rich and creamy smooth" "never overly sweet".

It is definitely on the dark, bitter side. I mean, even I can taste it. That doesn't keep it from being added to my favourites list, and if you're the type to like such things, it should probably go on yours.

(My Mother, uh.   She doesn't like it.)

Bad Hare Chocolate Stout.

Oh this one didn't bode well from the beginning.
In my defense, I was sort of against it. $3.99 for a 650 mL bottle? That's low for these parts. There's a chance that it's because it's a new acquisition the shop just can't wait to share with the world, but more likely it's because they want to get rid of something.
So I pour this thing and the first thing I note is that there is NO head. I mean, not even a pretension to one. That photo? Taken about three seconds after pouring. I'm by no means a stickler for that sort of thing (I drink from the BOTTLE because beer comes in a BOTTLE and that's where it SHOULD be rather than up your NOSE in the form of FOAM.) but it could be construed as a warning sign.
I digress.
My mother didn't like it, but she doesn't like any beer so I don't usually let her gagging sounds colour my opinion.
As for me?

Honestly? I don't hate it. I mean, I've had worse. Where I take issue is in blatant false advertising.
"A dark and silky rich stout loaded with chocolate flavours. Is there chocolate in my beer of beer in my chocolate?"
Hahaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No.
I have had chocolate stout before and you, sir, do not live up in either department. There's very little by way of smell or initial taste, but that is immediately followed by a distinctly burnt flavour and acrid aftertaste. It's weird and unpleasant, but I can't bring myself to rage at it.
On the shelf, your first instinct would likely be to avoid it. Don't think twice.

Cayenne hot chocolate.

I'd been meaning to exhibit this recipe of mine for while. It's simple but versatile and I like to think it hearkens back to chocolate's ubiquity as a savoury ingredient taken with meats and spices. Fiddle with it and come up with your own variations!

I used:

Unsweetened baking chocolate (1 ounce pieces).

Cayenne pepper.

Coarsely ground black pepper.

Homogenised milk. (Get your giggling out of the way.)

Brown sugar.

Whipped cream. (For topping.)

I chopped up the chocolate (about three chunks) and melted it, then slowly and carefully stirred in some milk. How you do this part is really up to you. I handle the melting of chocolate so poorly that it would make the sturdiest of chocolatiers weep.

Once the milk mixture is smooth, I add in the spices (about a teaspoon of Cayenne and just a dash of black pepper) and then add brown sugar to taste, whisking frequently.

Warm it up, pour it, cap it with whipped cream (and a dash of brown sugar for photographic purposes) and you're done!

Now for the interesting part.

I handed the beverage first to my sister, who sniffed it, declared it delicious, and tasted it.

She choked. Then coughed. Then said, with a look of baleful unhappiness: "It's spicy."

It's not! I declared. I used hardly any pepper at all!

As if to prove my point, I passed it on to my mother who... well, let me allow her notes to speak for themselves.

oh, dear. Hit hard by the cayenne. burns. barely taste the chocolate. Cannot drink it.

Hm.

Ah, well. More for me.

In conclusion, let me say that this drink will be no challenge at all for a lover of spice. If you're not, though.... Consider replacing the cayenne with something more to your taste.

The taste of desperation.

"Did you make a drink?"

I pause, wary, hand hovering over my cup. Whhhyyy?

"Should I be writing about it?"

Um, sure. I guess. It's nothing amazing.

"Let me get a document going. You want to take pictures?"

And lo, we get to the real reason I started this blog. A love of beverages that, more often than not, has me rifling through the cupboards and throwing miscellaneous items into a saucepan. In this case, my motivation was little more than a desire for caffeine. A desire as yet unfulfilled since I have been waylaid into writing. I have a love-hate relationship with coffee that, for reasons I won't get into, has left me with my only resource of the moment being, yes...

Instant coffee.

That bane of all that bears only the most coincidental resemblance to anything that could be described as coffee, sitting on the shelf in waiting for various desserts. Ruefully, I grab the bottle and proceed to contemplate what could make it more palatable.

Into the unwholesome brew (using about two cups of lactose free milk as a base) goes a few spoons full of cocoa (Dutch processed), a healthy dash of cayenne pepper, an egg yolk, a sprinkling of smoked salt, something like a tablespoon-and-a-bit of sugar, a pinch of ground ginger, a splash of vanilla, and a bit of cinnamon to top it off. All capped with a fluffy lid of whipped cream that has dwindled to a pathetic foam during the course of this post.

The resulting drink is heavy and a bit bitter with a pleasant bite of spice that was... a bit too much for my poor sister. Most importantly, the taste of instant coffee is almost entirely disguised. Mission accomplished. Excuse me while I replace my ignominiously slain whipped cream.