Brewer's ADD, Innis & Gunn Winter Treacle, Skullsplitter.

So the other day I sat down with three beers, my little sister, and the third season of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Because you're not the boss of me.

The first beer is Brewer's ADD, with an appropriately spastic label design. It's aggressive, with a good bite. Not much subtlety, but I like it.

Second up is Innis & Gunn's Winter Treacle Porter. Now, Innis & Gunn is one of my favourite brewers, hands down. My favourite of theirs so far has been the Irish Whiskey finish, but this one might be right up there. It's pleasantly bitter, like black coffee, but with a strong fruity undertone. I recommend it.

The suprise winner for the night, though, was the Skullsplitter. Which I admit that I bought because it's called Skullsplitter. The best way I can describe it reminded me of a good, strong cheese. Not in flavour (I'm not sure even I'd go for that more than once), but in the way the taste is delayed. When it first hits your tongue, it's unremarkable, and then BAM! Flavour! Flavour everywhere! It's bombastic is what I'm saying, and I plan to pick it up again.
Overall, a good night!

St. George Premium Lager Beer

"You gotta try this Ethiopian beer I found!"

All right, what's it called?

"I don't know, it's in Ethiopian."

Oh.

So I really hope I titled this post right.

First off; this label is really nice. I love the colours and the adorable little St. George, and it was certainly easy to pick off the shelf.
Unfortunately, that's about all that distinguishes it. It's a light beer with that typical back-of-the-throat apple-juicy acidity. I can drink it, but I wouldn't go out of my way to buy it again.

Guess what image I didn't know I'd be using again so soon.

Young's Double Chocolate Stout.

GUYS.
YOU GUYS.

THIS BEER TASTES EXACTLY LIKE A BAR OF 80% COCOA CHOCOLATE.

I LIKE IT.

END REVIEW.

Seriously, though. I saved this for the last of my Christmas gift beer reviews because I figured it would, at least, be the most interesting of the bunch. I was not wrong! Young's Double Chocolate Stout, unlike our last encounter with a "chocolate" "stout", really delivers on its description. "Silky rich and creamy smooth" "never overly sweet".

It is definitely on the dark, bitter side. I mean, even I can taste it. That doesn't keep it from being added to my favourites list, and if you're the type to like such things, it should probably go on yours.

(My Mother, uh.   She doesn't like it.)

Erdinger Weissbier Dunkel

The pale ales and ciders out of the way, it's time to get to the darker portions of my Christmas gift beers!

I offered my mother the first taste of this one. I couldn't see her face, but her shoulders hunched and her neck tucked in like those of a disgruntled pigeon.


Philistine.

So maybe I'm just happy to finally be drinking something with discernible hops, but I like this! It's clean, smooth and pleasant with a slightly creamy aftertaste and the tiiiniest hint of malt. The alcohol content is a modest 5.3% and, when not smothered by a prodigious mattress of foam (drink it from the bottle, kids.), it goes down nicely.

I wouldn't rank it among my favourite (hey, I should write about those.), but I might order it for a lunch out.

Overall, I feel I must bestow upon this beer the highest award in ambiguousness I can provide.

Happy drinking!

Fuller's Organic Honey Dew

One thing about having a daughter that is on a mission to try lots of new types of beverages is that it makes finding Christmas presents really easy.  That different types of beer is high on her list of beverages to try makes narrowing things down even easier.

The down side is, I'm expected to taste test these with her.

So here we are again, furthering our quest in finding a beer that I actually like, instead of the usual gagging noises and facial contortions.

This time, Spindle chose another of the light beers I got for her.  Fuller's Organic Honey Dew.  It's a Refreshing golden Beer, the label tells us.  From an Independent Family Brewery, since 1845, the bottle tells us.  Now, most of the time, when we encounter a brew that proudly states such things, there's usually some sort of accompanying story on the label.  Some interesting prose to sell us on just how refreshingly refreshing we shall find it, or how awesome it is to be a family business for nearly 160 years.  The labels of this beer do not such thing, however.  What the back label does do is tell us it's beer.  In 9 languages.  It contains malted barley.  Also in 9 languages.  The very brief ingredients list of water, malted barley, hops and yeast... Yup.  Nine languages.  Clearly, this is a beer of international appeal!

It does have a very pretty bottle...

...and it's a lovely golden colour. 

With little to inform us, I had to rely on the website for more information.  There's even a "tasting notes" page.   With Organic Honey Dew, we are told to expect a beer that has "a zesty edge and a bitter sweet flavour."  It's "naturally palatable brew" that's "Soil Association approved."  It's "gentle sweetness" appeals to "even those who perhaps wouldn't usually drink beer..."

That would be me.

Does it?

No, not really.

At best, I can honestly say it didn't make me gag or go into facial contortions.

Much.

In taste testing it with my daughter, however, it illustrated once again just how differently people can taste things.  I could taste the bitter, but not the sweet.  At all.  I found it rather mild overall, which made it easier to taste test then other beers we've tried, but it has done nothing to win me over to the ranks of beer drinkers.  Spindle, on the other hand, cannot taste bitter.  For her, she could taste the sweet just fine.  She's not a fan of light beers, so it's hardly a favourite, but for the type, she liked it fine.  She found it light, refreshing, mildly sweet with a pleasant aftertaste. 

She also likes the bottle design enough to add it to her collection.

Zywiec

"Three ingredients" it says.

"Boy," I think. "I hope one of them is beer."

First official Christmas-gift beer review! And... not the kind I had hoped for.

Let's talk about the design first, though.

I've sort of fallen in love with this bottle. It just makes me happy. There are designs stamped into the glass, the label on the back is cut to curve around a glass "seal", and there are lovely dancing Polish people on the front label! I like it.

And in terms of flavour?
Eehhh.. this is a light beer. And y'all know what that means.
Not that it's bad! Oh no! I just have absolutely no concrete opinion on it.
It's mild! It's refreshing! It has that slightly acrid back-of-tongue taste with little upfront! It's mild!

I mean, it says that it's Poland's number one premium beer, and I'm disinclined to think that the distant land of my ancestors picked a bad one, but...

Oh, give it a try if pale beers are your thing. Send me a note if you do.

McChouffe Ardens Brown Beer

Oh fer- another beer? Really? We've gotta get some soda on here. I'm starting to look like an alcoholic.

But this one's a doozy, I promise.

The second of those bargain-bin purchases I mentioned, McChouffe here has a bedraggled label (it looked like that when I bought it, I swear.), very little information (contains malt!), a relatively high alcohol content (8%), and, to top it off, a creepy gnome as a mascot.

After all that, important questions remain unanswered.
What does unsettled-gnome-beer taste like? Does it contain beard? Inquiring minds must know.

Pretty darn delicious, actually. The malt flavour is understated, and it's overall smooth and enjoyable.

I don't know about the second part.

And I have a cute new bottle for my collection!

It all works out in the end.

Roscoe's Hop House Amber Ale.

With Honey Added!

What's the best kind of beer?
If you said "the kind that's on sale"...

You'd be wrong. Go home and re-think your life.

I did, however, decide to try out two of the more interesting looking brews on the "please buy this" shelf by the checkout counter.
Yes, I am guilty of judging by label design.
Mea culpa.

Roscoe's Amber Ale looks very nice in and out of the bottle. Spiffy logo, pleasant golden brown colour. The flavour is clear and mild with a light, lingering malt aftertaste. The honey isn't particularly pronounced, but I'd be able to pick it out without being told. I'd recommend it as a happy medium between aggressive, tongue-killing beerflavour and tasteless pale ales.

Boy, my bias against light beer has just saturated this blog. Sorry, guys.

Anyhow. I wouldn't go out of my way to buy this again, but if I saw it on a menu next to Kokanee and Coors, I'd choose it.

Uptown Girl Strawberry Blonde Ale.

So by that title you may be able to tell a little bit about today's beverage. Namely, that it's limiting its audience. Not that I'm particularly concerned about ~*girly*~ marketing, but I was pretty leery when it came to the prospect of actually bringing this thing to the checkout. Luckily it was my Mother's duty to buy the tiny, adorable six-pack and I was able to make my purchases in peace. (A tiny, adorable bottle of Jagermeister.)

Basically, Uptown Girl is adorable. It's twee. It's precious. It's impossible not to roll your eyes at it.
I wonder if maybe that's the real target of the image. Not delicate womenfolk who require small and appropriately pinkish version of that strange, intimidating beverage known as "be-er" so as not to offend their sensibilities, but cynical jerks who catch sight of it on the liquour-store shelf and say "Oh man, look. Lookathis. Dude. It's girl beer."

Ahem.

Appearance-wise, the Strawberry Blonde Ale is clear and bubbly with slight foam and it is indeed distinctly blond. The scent is unremarkable. In flavour it is only distinctive in its extreme mildness. In its favour, that means it lacks the back-of-the-throat acidity that usually turns me off from light beers in general. Unfortunately it also has next to no flavour.
Yeah, "brewed with strawberry juice"? Sure. Whatever. It's a light, clear beer and that's all it has going for it.

Except for adorableness.

(Pictured here with a dainty, girlish hand.  Cat hair garnish optional.)

In all seriousness, if you're after a strawberry beer, I would highly suggest the Fruli.

Bad Hare Chocolate Stout.

Oh this one didn't bode well from the beginning.
In my defense, I was sort of against it. $3.99 for a 650 mL bottle? That's low for these parts. There's a chance that it's because it's a new acquisition the shop just can't wait to share with the world, but more likely it's because they want to get rid of something.
So I pour this thing and the first thing I note is that there is NO head. I mean, not even a pretension to one. That photo? Taken about three seconds after pouring. I'm by no means a stickler for that sort of thing (I drink from the BOTTLE because beer comes in a BOTTLE and that's where it SHOULD be rather than up your NOSE in the form of FOAM.) but it could be construed as a warning sign.
I digress.
My mother didn't like it, but she doesn't like any beer so I don't usually let her gagging sounds colour my opinion.
As for me?

Honestly? I don't hate it. I mean, I've had worse. Where I take issue is in blatant false advertising.
"A dark and silky rich stout loaded with chocolate flavours. Is there chocolate in my beer of beer in my chocolate?"
Hahaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No.
I have had chocolate stout before and you, sir, do not live up in either department. There's very little by way of smell or initial taste, but that is immediately followed by a distinctly burnt flavour and acrid aftertaste. It's weird and unpleasant, but I can't bring myself to rage at it.
On the shelf, your first instinct would likely be to avoid it. Don't think twice.

Elysian The Immortal IPA

price: unknown

While visiting with a friend of Spindle's, he handed her a bottle of beer.  "Try this," he tells her.  "You'll like it!  Just make sure you don't drink it cold.  It tastes terrible cold!"

Advice appreciated and taken.

The Immortal is an India Pale Ale with a rather high-for-beer alcohol content of 6.3% by volume.  It is "refreshing, hoppy and well-balanced", the label tells us.  A "classic English style" that's got a "New World hop flavor and aroma."

What that means, exactly, I don't really know.

Now, I am not a beer drinker at the best of times.  Spindle likes her brew, and is baffled by my inability to enjoy the stuff.  I still like to try new beers, though, in hopes that one of these years, I'll discover the answer to why beer is such a popular drink.  Perhaps this beer will be the one?

At first quaff, I thought for a moment that the answer had been found.  As I first sipped, the ale was smooth and gently flavoured, and I dared to think, "wow!  I might actually like thi..."

And then that "New World hop flavor" hit, stomping on my taste buds like a dry and bitter old geezer, gleefully shouting "psyche!"

Okay, so maybe it wasn't that bad.

It wasn't good, either.  In fact, I'd be hard pressed to find anything, other then that first touch of ale on the tongue, that made it different from any other beer I've ever tried.

But what did Spindle think?

Not much either, it turns out.  She was left with really nothing to say about it.  It didn't look, smell or taste any different then any other IPA.

I suppose it's a good thing we didn't try it cold.

Alexander Keith's Dark Ale

Elephant & Castle.

$6.60

So I had an epiphany. It came up while mulling over this beverage but is only really tangentially related to it.

I cannot taste bitter.

Not in the conventional way, anyhow.

The basic division twixt my mother and I of "This is bitter." and "what? No it isn't." led to this fascinating discovery that makes a whole lot of sense in retrospect. It explains why I wax eloquent over ~notes of citrus and caramel undertones~ in a cup of black coffee and my compatriots cock their heads and look at me like some strange mushroom. It also explains my derision toward Guinness. After all that build-up, the only description I could give it was something along the lines of "tepid ditch-water".

Sorry, Guinness. I guess the problem was on my end.

But back to this drink.

Alexander Keith's dark ale is the second I've tried of the brand, having quite liked the amber ale. I wasn't disappointed at all. The taste is very mild but it's deep and smooth with pleasant hints of fruitiness. A good ale for a light meal. I recommend it.

Kirin Ichiban

Place: Kyoto

Cost: About five dollars.

This is something I'd been meaning to try for a while. I'd never had a Japanese beer, and the label is just beautiful. When I finally got around to it, I was presented with this light, golden brew in a bottle of unusually thin glass. Upon tasting it...

all right, I admit that I'm not very keen on light beers in general. I gravitate toward dark, smooth and flavourful. So my first impression was of acidic tastelessness that hit the back of my tongue with a certain hostility and lingered there with obstinacy. It got better once I was a few bites into my meal (Chirashi, delicious.) and I detected the tiniest notes of other, mellow flavours hanging around, but I found them to be drowned out by that overbearing non-flavour that seems ubiquitous in light beers. And Guinness.

And "One of the world's most unique premium beers" as it says on the label? No, sorry. Also, there are no degrees of uniqueness. But I digress.

I'd recommend it if you like the general type, but drink it with food and drink it cold.

Strawberry Früli.

At: Lazia

Cost: $4.25

Lazia doesn't carry many of my usual selections, so I did what I always do in such situations.

Pepper the staff with annoying questions.

What's a Strawberry Früli?

"Well, it's a white beer that's flavoured with strawberries."

Fascinating! Now what's a Kronenbourg 1664?

"It's... French."

Well it looks like the Kronenbourg will wait for another day. My Früli came with a cheerful label and a big glass tankard into which I dutifully poured it, revealing in the process a beautiful pink colour that is, sadly, not done any justice in the photograph.

The scent is sweet and has a definite note of berry. The taste is... oddly divisive.

I, enjoying beer as a whole, found it a bit baffling. My mother, not being particularly fond of beer, quite liked it.

The undisputed point: the Früli does not taste like beer at all.

Not to say it tastes bad, oh no. It's smooth and flavourful (with 30% pure strawberry juice. I think that's more than most actual packaged fruit-juice.) and makes me think of a rather pleasant cocktail. I would recommend it highly.

Just, you know, not if you're looking to drink beer.