Elephant & Castle.
So I had an epiphany. It came up while mulling over this beverage but is only really tangentially related to it.
I cannot taste bitter.
Not in the conventional way, anyhow.
The basic division twixt my mother and I of "This is bitter." and "what? No it isn't." led to this fascinating discovery that makes a whole lot of sense in retrospect. It explains why I wax eloquent over ~notes of citrus and caramel undertones~ in a cup of black coffee and my compatriots cock their heads and look at me like some strange mushroom. It also explains my derision toward Guinness. After all that build-up, the only description I could give it was something along the lines of "tepid ditch-water".
Sorry, Guinness. I guess the problem was on my end.
But back to this drink.
Alexander Keith's dark ale is the second I've tried of the brand, having quite liked the amber ale. I wasn't disappointed at all. The taste is very mild but it's deep and smooth with pleasant hints of fruitiness. A good ale for a light meal. I recommend it.